Insight - Am I “excellent”? (wrote on 9 September)

God answers “Yes, you are. You are excellent. I made you excellent.”
I say “but God, I don’t feel/think I am excellent. Why am I feeling like this?”

Last night, He gave me an insight.
When I was reading Ephesians 1:1-23, I was so thankful that God let me become a part of His Body, namely a part of church, which is the Body of Jesus.

God is Almighty.
God is in control over everything.
God has Plan for every person on this world.
So, we live in harmony, making a song (relationship) for Jesus.
What sort of song would you make for God?
What kind of noise or music do you want to make for Jesus?
We should make a happy, peaceful, and joyful song!!
Each person has sounds in different tones. Like we are parts of His Body and function for His Purpose, we are parts of music and function in a song which God makes scores. By missing one sound, we cannot make the whole music in harmony and complete.

To seek the “excellence “ for God, we should make the excellent song for God!
Then each of us should function “fully” for God!

These days, I looked tired or sleepy or not well, especially on the last Sunday. J said to me “your body language says you are not ok”. I didn't know why I looked tired because I have been filled with Holy Spirit by being blessed given a new place to live and start a new life.
But today God showed me what was wrong with me.

When we have more responsibilities and stepping into a new stage, lots of things are coming in and we can see more things.
Then, we need to learn more and cannot stay in the same position satisfying there.

I was a bit tired to do lots of jobs at church and felt tired. I couldn’t feel alright because I couldn't do well (perfect) in each job; singer, projector, set-up & pack-down, J-Teen translation, J-Life and Life Group. So, everything seemed not in harmony, and I was producing bad noise. Even at work, people noticed I was not genki. That’s too bad because I need to shine to those people around me to show them my Hope in Jesus.

Because I have been seeking perfect (perfectionistic), I wasn’t happy about myself, and my body language said that I am not ok; that is, I was saying to myself that “I am not excellent” though God says He made us excellent. Because He declares it, we should declare it too!

I need to catch the Good Wave like a good surfer!! And make a good sound for God’s song in a good Harmony.

But, I asked God, What can I do, God? In order to ride on a “positive” wave and “positive tune”, what should I do?

The answer was given even before He showed me what problem I had. I was given James 4:10 before reading today’s bible verse Ephesians 1:1-23.
“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He’ll lift you up.”

I should be thankful that God let me step up into the next level of serving and growth, and gave me new challenges. I have to humble myself to learn and improve, seeking the "excellence" for God!
I have to turn a new page for my growth in Him!!!

-> (result of change inside of me)
On Sunday, I was really happy and joyful to serve, and was not affected by negative thoughts like last few weeks.
While I admit that I was not perfect, making some mistakes, I changed my mind to see the improvement in the next time.
I was also really grateful for my friends' supports that God provides.
Thank you, Yumi chan, Yui chan, Kevin, Takayuki kun, Emi san, Yuri san and Junya san for your special encouragement!